Monday, July 19, 2010

I quit to persue my goals without the stress and pressure.

Which in the long run will take me to the top much more quickly.  Quiting your job isn't that easy.  When you first have a job you are confused to a certain degree and you don't really know anyone.  Then as you learn your job and begin to relax you get to know the people you work with and you learn who's company you enjoy and you learn the ones to stay away from.

 There always seems to be a certain amount of back stabbers and nilly Nelly's who want to get deep into your business and gossip about it to others.  Those who are genuinely kind people and not the phonies they display to everyone are not that hard to stay away from.  However then you settle in and except working shifts that sometimes seem long and very hard physically.  Other shifts are easy and controllable and it is fun to be around the people that are easy going and fun to be around, though you always have those few who don't divulge themselves to you because there agenda is way over your expectations of the job and you avoid them at all costs with only the casual hello or smile as they go by. 

Then there are the comer's and goer's of management and or otherwise it's hard to distinguish who is on the up and up and who's not.  All certainly a game those of us who have been in management in our lives have played when we assume it is our life long career and we are going to play the game the way it is intended to be played. 

When you reach a certain age it seems you begin to form the idea of whether you are going to completely play the game or not.  I for one had chose after many years of management not to play the game and venture into my own visions of what I wanted my life to be.

So, as the econmy began to fall, thus, my work load and the changes began to overwhelm me and physically became a huge challenge. My physical being due to medical issues.  Bringing me to a point where I did not want to be there and they did not want me there. 

A mutual feeling which I felt and heard whispers of.  Someone wanted me gone and I knew who those people were and it really didn't matter because I was done giving my all to the job with now satisfaction or reward.  After all, why work hard if others aren't going to and you have to go around and finish up everything they did not do?  After a while you don't care any more than they did.

I figured it was time to exit before some pretty good relationships were extinguished and leave it at that.  Their dream was clear, to be lifers and my dream was also clear that I am a writer, an author not a over used underpaid factory type worker.  In my mind the job was just as tough as being no more than a indentured type servant in a nylon factory going no where and never being praised for accomplishment only noticed for things missed. 

My life is writing and I intend on being in this position all of the rest of my life.  If need be I will find a job where I am respected and rewarded for my good work.

It's very hard to be an empath and know what people are doing and pretend like you have no clue to their involvement or cross thoughts and words.  It's so much better to remove yourself from these type of situations that hold you back on your journey.  I know I will have half the Dr. visits I had while employed.

In years to come I will be working hard on what I want from life and not what others want me to do so they don't have to.  It's a freeing type feeling to not have to do the early shifts and then come home so tired you have to go to bed.  I'm definitely enjoying my freedom but I do miss the people I still call friends and understand it's all business to some of them.  I wish them luck in where ever life takes them.

Laura Elizabeth

No comments: