Monday, May 3, 2010

The Wild Beast Cat

     So an evening at home consisted of eating pizza, watching 24 and ice cream for a mid night snack.  Our cats Boomer and Precious wander freely through the house and we always have the patio door cracked so they can come and go.   As of late a rather large black cat that seems to be a stray has found its way to our yard and hangs around looking for morsels of food. 
     I am not sure if it was ever tame though it is beautiful.  I found myself leaving bits of food for it now and then as I felt sorry for it.  The past couple of weeks it has wandered into the dining room on occasion and the family cats are not receptive to it.  Keep in mind that I am actually allergic to cats and I have in the past been hospitalized for cat scratch fever. 
    So this evening we were sitting watching t.v. and suddenly we hear our cats screeching in the dining room.  We all jump knowing the stray has wondered in but usually leaves in a hurry when it is discovered.  Tonight was different. 
    Steve ran one way to the dining room and flipped on the light and I scrambled to the corner of the other door to the kitchen to take a peak knowing I could not get to close to it just in case. 
    Suddenly it became quiet and we thought the beast had left the premises when in a flash a black streak whizzed past me.  I turned quickly to see Boomer squatted on the carpet just inside the living room and I began to walk towards him. Without warning the stray cat came flying from the living room straight at boomer and me.  Hissing with teeth showing and ready for a fight. 
    Boomer ran quickly into the kitchen and I jumped turned and ran for the kitchen.  Hearing him on my heels I was sure I was to be attacked I jumped in a frog like dance through the kitchen.  I turned when I reached the other side of the kitchen table and the cat lunged at me hissing and snarling. 
     I began to scream, "Oh my god, oh my god its a wild beast". and it seemed to scare the nearly pest even more and he jumped towards the stove and up the wall hanging from the edge of the wood trim in the corner.  The whole time I am jumping up and down screaming, "Oh my god" as he hissed at he and I was sure I was in for it. 
     I jumped in fell swoop on top of the kitchen table and landed on my butt with my feet on the table and my knees buckled into the air, my hands behind me on the edge of the table watching the cat and screaming at the top of my lungs. (No kidding I could never do it if you asked me to). 
     Steve and mom were both in the dining room but they were laughing so hard they could not move.  As they cried from laughing so hard the cat suddenly jumped from the wall.  I bounced up and down yelling at the top of my lungs, "Oh my god" and he landed on the floor then immediately jumped for a window and clung to the curtain. 
     Steve and mom still laughing so hard they were buckled I jumped from the table and headed for the living room and jumped on the back of one of the couches still screaming and sure it was coming after me.  When I heard Steve and mom trying talking and then Josh came flying in the garage door I snuck back over to the doorway. 
     Josh took a dusting mop and with out one care in the world poked at the cat till it jumped on the bar and Steve hustled it out the door.  Everyone turned and looked at ME and then Josh said, "I thought you saw a spider!" 
     We all started laughing and thus the decision to keep the patio door closed at night till we get rid of the cat.  I swear we laughed for 10 more minutes until finally I was feeling pretty small and I walked away. 
     So let this be a lesson, keep your patio door closed at night.  I swear I'd be less scared of a bear. This makes me laugh out loud  but I certainly did not want to end up back in the hospital trying to explain that!  Damn wild beast cat!  
Laura Elizabeth

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hahahahahaha was so funny